Explaining it, Part III

"The glass is already broken." I recently read that quote and am quite taken with it. Here is the whole quotation:

“You see this goblet?” asks Achaan Chaa, the Thai meditation master. “For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”- Mark Epstein, Thoughts Without a Thinker

I struggle with anxiety, enough so that I take medication for it. Having a spouse who flew helicopters in the Marine Corps didn't help, as all parents know having a child does not help with worry either. At certain points, my fear that I will lose these precious beings, or I will be lost, prevents me from fully living with them, deeply enjoying them here and now.

But if the glass is already broken, if I accept that I will lose everything someday, then what is there to fear? It's already done and all that is left is the beautiful now.

No, wait, this explains it

My minor surgery? Not so minor. Turns out I have Stage IV endometriosis. The crippling back pain? That's the end result of interior body parts sticking to each other and then to my pelvic wall. Surgery was a week ago and my back has not felt this good in years. I can think without that constant hum of discomfort.

The bad news is that now I need to make a decision fairly soon about what treatments to have next but, hey, have I mentioned my back and how awesome it feels?

The best part of my treatment plan so far was looking up my new medication and finding this,
"...used to treat chronic adrenal disease in ferrets."

Now that is reassuring.