"The glass is already broken." I recently read that quote and am quite taken with it. Here is the whole quotation:
“You see this goblet?” asks Achaan Chaa, the Thai meditation master. “For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”- Mark Epstein, Thoughts Without a Thinker
I struggle with anxiety, enough so that I take medication for it. Having a spouse who flew helicopters in the Marine Corps didn't help, as all parents know having a child does not help with worry either. At certain points, my fear that I will lose these precious beings, or I will be lost, prevents me from fully living with them, deeply enjoying them here and now.
But if the glass is already broken, if I accept that I will lose everything someday, then what is there to fear? It's already done and all that is left is the beautiful now.
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8 comments:
Just a shout out via Cjane's blog. Thanks for your comments! xo
I'm here from C Jane's blog as well. I just wanted to say that I admire your ability to continue reading, and to continue engaging in the conversation, even though some of the comments so completely contradict your feelings towards your son. It has taught me a thing or two about being openminded, and not just lumping people in to a big group of people whose opinions don't count because they are different from mine :) And I fully admit that I wanted to quit C Jane's blog today and never return, due to some of the comments there, but I stayed, in part because of you. So yay :) And double yay for being such an incredibly supportive mother. That part goes without saying.
Rachel in Vancouver
Sorry - here to vent about cjane's blog. I know that I should stop reading, but I am overwhelmed by some of the ignorance in what appears to be the LDS community. Comparisons to child molesters and murders?
As usual, your comments are great and fair. I, on the other hand, am finding it hard to have any tolerance for adults who cannot see past this indoctrination and think for themselves.
Hi Fresh Hell-
Just wanted to give a shout out. Found you on cjane's blog and I really, really appreciated your comments on the latest post, the one about the "Mormon Guy." As a gay woman, I can't tell you how much hope it gives me to hear about parents like you. Your joy in your son, ALL of your son, is inspiring. That early support could be the difference between life and death and I know your son is so grateful to have you! Many could learn a lesson in the oft-cited "unconditional love" that's all over religious texts. ("Love the sinner, hate the sin"... are you kidding me??)
Anyway, thought you could always use recognition. Best of wishes to you and your family.
Stay strong and keep up that fight in Texas!
Elie
Wow, I have not been checking in on my poor, neglected blog and what a wonderful surprise to find four such lovely notes.
I'm 41 and have lived all over the country (we were a military family), so I think it's only appropriate that I've learned something about getting along as an outsider.
I am always so impressed with C.Jane's willingness to put herself out on a limb. There's no need for her to do it, she chooses it and I admire that in a person.
I respectfully disagree with you on this point. You are putting yourself out there by talking about your family, and that is admirable. At least on this topic, I don't believe that she has any personal skin in the game. How is she really putting herself out on a limb? Where is the post from the opposing side? How about a guest poster that has left the church or tried to commit suicide because of his/her treatment by the church or community. You do hear dissent in the comments, but I am sure that there are also many comments being "moderated." It also doesn't hurt that this type of post generates a lot of blog traffic. I think that she does get paid to blog, right?
Anon, I feel like C.Jane puts herself out on a limb because being a Mormon living in Provo, she could easily arrange to lead a life of being virtually unchallenged. Or she could moderate her blog so that only comments from Mormons are allowed.
I've seen people take her to task for speaking about controversial things at all and some people seem even more irritated that she allows comments that do not support Mormon doctrine.
I absolutely agree that the damage done to people by churches, including the Mormon church, can be tremendous. My memory is long and I will not forget Prop 8. But it's my natural tendency to try and build bridges and I'm drawn to others who do the same.
The problem I have is that I can't see this stand (by anyone) against gays as anything other than ignorance and hatred. There is no excuse for not speaking out against bigotry. It is willful ignorance to not educate yourself about reality. We are on the internet. All you have to do is google. I know that people cling tightly to their religion, but blind faith is a dangerous thing. The worst part is that the church could just decide to change its stance tomorrow and the sheep would follow. The views are not based on logic, fact, or any type of careful consideration. I worry so much about the kids that might be reading all of those hateful comments, and it scares me that parents are posting them.
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